My new exercise philosophy

A few days I discovered/invented an exercise philosophy that's new to me and that I think will work well for the rest of my life (haven't done any research to see if anyone else lives by this but I've never met/seen anyone so...).

The basic premise is this. You don't need to go to a special lace to exercise, nor do you need to wear special clothes or get special equipment. All you need is yourself and whatever everyday objects you have lying around.

I call this 'Life Exercise' because you do exercise at the same time as living your every day life. I don't know about you, but I hate the thought of having to go to the gym. Having to disrupt my normal life to drag myself to a public space and force myself to exercise. I hate how regimented it is. So instead, whenever I am waiting for something (a bus, the computer to load, standing in a queue), then I can do exercise.

Take yesterday. I was doing some walking around Jinan and I got onto a long stretch of road. It was very long and I new I was going to walk it. But instead of just walking I took my heavy backpack in my arms and started lifting it above my head twenty times. Then I started lifting it on just my right side, then my left side. This way I gave my arms a good workout, as well as my core muscles and my legs were working from the walking. Life exercise would also include using the stairs every time, instead of using the elevator. 

You see here in China people stare at me wherever I go and whatever I do. Today wen I walked into the main gym area I thought I had walked into a photograph. I felt like everyone had stopped what they were doing to 'stare at the foreigner'. It really pisses me off most of the time because I hate public attention but on my walk home I got to thinking that I do get good things with looking like a foreigner, like certain privileges etc. plus the bonus of being able to play dumb whenever I don't like a situation I'm in. So I need to take the good with the bad, you can't have it all.

Back to my exercise philosophy. Yes, so you can do it anywhere. Even sitting on the bus, I started lifting my heels off the ground repeatedly, or tensing my abs. What this new philosophy does, is allow exercise to work in harmony with your life, instead of against it. I think the Chinese elders really inspired me with the regular exercise they do in parks and in streets.

I used to think that I had to put my body through hell to 'do exercise', this is a school of thought that was impregnated into me from my time as a competitive swimmer. But it doesn't have to be. It can be gentle and still give results. I'm going to look for a tai chi group to join. I heard there are lots of groups that meet up in parks at 6am to do it.

Now to the question of why exercise at all? It is my strong belief that when people exercise to lose weight, so that they can lease those around them/society/their granny Bingbing, then they are in a very destructive mindset. They see their body as an adversary to them, an enemy, and they do not have a good relationship with their body. That's why fr a few days I contemplated no exercise whatsoever because I wanted to free myself from the societal voice stomping round in my head that trumpeted the merits of having a beautiful, slender body. I thought I would just eat my way out of that mindset, and stop doing any form of exercise all together.

But then luckily I came to my senses, before I had become obese. Instead I started looking at my body as a friend. A friend that I have to look after so that it will look after me. If I don't exercise it, give it good food, then eventually it will fall into disrepair. The muscles that were not used, would grow weaker and weaker - if you don't use it you lose it, as the old adage goes. In time my body would grow weaker, I would be easy prey for disease and with disease comes a lot of mental and physical pain. I don't want to help put myself in pain. That kind of pain is not good. It leaves you feeling helpless and disables you from your normal life. And that's why Life Exercise is the way to go for me.

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Still on the theme of exercise, I went to the gym today. I decided against spinning this time so that I could spare myself the trauma of being blinded/deafened and releasing a torrent of hate directed at the spinning coach, the gym and the entire world in general, and instead opted for a class called Aero-BD on the timetable. Didn't know what BD was, didn't think it would matter.

A few minutes before the class was due to start, no one was in the aerobics hall. I went into the changing rooms and felt like I'd been transported to some old Sultan's harem. Inside was a half-naked woman, adjusting her bra-top and applying eyeliner. Then from behind her came two, three similarly dressed, half-naked women. Then it clicked. BD was Belly Dancing. My head automatically began rooting for excuses, ways to get out of this predicament I found myself in, but it was too late. One of the girls started talking to me and I was locked in.

It was strange doing belly dancing in China. We truly have become a global village. Two Arabic songs came on - one was Nancy 3gram - and I thought I would start welling up with tears. It was the first time I'd been exposed to a bit of Arab culture since leaving Egypt in August and I felt the pangs of homesickness.

I quite enjoyed the dancing and the thrusting, but I couldn't help thinking how this dance was/is a way of seducing men and demeaning women to objects in the process. I was quite impressed that no men were hovering by the glass doors of the hall, looking in at the half naked, beautiful belly dancing teacher and the other girls in the front row, all clad in bra-tops and tight skirts. It was a credit to the men of China. If it was Egypt (and depending on where exactly) you would have men drooling on the glass doors.

I let my feminist objections slide and just enjoyed the music and the shaking and waving. It really was fun. I made a new friend as well, who said she'd introduce me to a tai chi class at her university.

After the belly dancing class I did a Body Combat class. The belly dancing teacher made a quick change and became one of the Body Combat teachers, alongside a very muscular man. This class got me sweating and straining my muscles which I liked.

Spinning in China

The first time I did spinning in China I was happy. The trainer was crazy and energetic, and I worked hard - my T-shirt reached sweat saturation levels, which is what I always aim for. The only thing was that the music was so loud  ended up feeling sick because my poor ear drums were being blasted into oblivion.

Disco spinning

Here, they do spinning in the dark with LED lights and lasers that are there to kindly blind the hell out of you. Anyway, last time I came prepared. I wore sunglasses, cap and ear plugs.

Earplugs- a necessary addition

Another problem I have with spinning here is that they are very fond of cycling whilst standing. Then they like to do quick knee bends in time with the music. The problem I have with this is that the pressure put on the knees is NOT GOOD! So I tend to do my own thing and ignore the trainer.

I'm hoping to get fitter so that I can do some sort of race next year - maybe the Great Wall Marathon? That would be cool!

Attending an antropology lecture at Shandong University

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. That is concerning what my dream career would be. That is, to be an anthropology professor. But with a BSc in chemistry, if I want to get straight onto a Master's programme in anthropology, I'm going to have to do a lot of ground work on my own, and that's exactly what I intend to do.

Two days ago I went to Shandong University, where I attended an anthropology lecture.

I had emailed the Head of the department (there are only three anthropology departments in China at the moment and one happens to be in the city that I am in) and he sent me the schedule of the Junior and Sophomore students so that i could attend some lectures as an auditor (just sitting in and listening). The University was beautiful and I found an area of very tall trees that was incredibly striking.

I had no idea where these lectures would be held, so I asked the first victim to cross my path. He turned out to be a tall, skinny, slightly camp, Chinese boy. He very kindly volunteered to take me to find the exact classrooms, not even content with just showing me the blocks. His English was incredibly good and he told me he loved watching Downton Abbey.

The lecture was part of a course entitled 'Gender and Sexuality' and this particular lecture was on Masculinity. The slides were all in English but unfortunately for me, the lecture was in Chinese. Still, it was good to be immersed in the language for 3 hours with a vague idea of what they were talking about thanks to the slides in the background.

The lecturer was from Singapore and his English was flawless. He broke into English once in a while and from these break-outs I learnt what the 'Bathroom problem' is. Basically, it involves the dilemma of if someone neither identifies as 'male' or 'female' then which bathroom should they use? The lecturer was saying how society makes it compulsory for individuals to define their sex through everyday male/female divides.

At the end of the lecture I spoke with a few students. They told me how hard their course is, primarily for the fact that they have five courses and they are all in English - readings and exams. What struck me was how they were learning 'Western anthropology', i.e. anthropology that was made by and on the most part, made for, white middle-class (in the past, mainly men) people. The discipline itself is Western and I believe it still has a long way to go for it to gain its own Eastern flavour.

I plan to write anthropological essays from time to time and post them on here. This will motivate me to turn out as good quality work as I can, since I never know who is reading these posts.

Also if you have any information about how I could get onto an anthropology masters without a BA in the subject, please let me know!

Garlic! I've found the evidence!

This morning I woke up very hungry. I opened my fridge and found that all I had was lettuce, half an aubergine, some tomatoes, some ginger and two lemons. Sure I could have whipped something up from them but I wanted something more substantial (read doughy), so I headed down towards the UniMart store where I knew I'd find dumplings and soup along the way.

UniMarts are everywhere in Jinan

UniMart sells basic food stuff but I usually I just get yoghurt. They also sell ready-made corn, eggs and glutinous rice.

Buy corn on the cob, glutinous rice and brown eggs here!

On my way I saw a stall selling the dumplings I wanted, so I stopped there and bought 2 dumplings and a bowl of grey soup (that I would soon discover is made from some sort of leftover fish - at least that's what it tastes like) and which I subsequently vowed never to let near my mouth again.

Dumpling Steamers

I had just taken a shower, my hair was wet, the air cold hence the scarf

Mmmm dumplings and raw garlic

Now, what should I find on every table but a bowlful of raw garlic cloves! My theory has been proven (somewhat)! It seems that it is customary to eat raw garlic cloves at breakfast (and possible throughout the day for all I know) and that would explain the smell. [I believe my family member who emitted the same noxious smell also regularly ate raw garlic!] Eureka!

I had 2 dumplings that were stuffed with steamed carrot and black funghi, and I tried the seafood soup but I couldn't manage more than two sips of it.

I'd also like to close by showing you the prison that I live right in front of. I have to pass this everyday, as well as a garbage depot, which is all very nice.

Le women's prison

Buying a laptop in Jinan

The no. 80 bus, right outside my apartment - takes me straight to the down town area

Watching TV on the bus

Eating too much garlic???

PRADA in down town

One of four Starbucks in Jinan

One cool dude

It costs 1 RMB for most bus journeys. You have to put the exact amount in these ominous boxes.

This bus driver thought she was going to a midnight dance when  she was sadly informed that she was in fact going to drive a bus instead

 

In the distance you can see the 'Pregnant Building' for all your electronic needs

So, my laptop has officially breathed its last breath. It's time to buy a new one. My criteria? Cheap and cheerful and hopefully in English.

I started my day by catching the no.80 bus outside my house, to take me to the down town area. I managed to find a seat and I sat down in front of the television. Usually after I've been at work all day I can never find a seat. What is strange to me though is how I find toddlers, maybe 3 or 4 years of age, sitting majestically on seats that could be vacant if there mothers would bother to put the damn kids on their laps. I'm pretty damn sure those kids haven't been doing 12-hour shifts and can hardly keep themselves standing but never mind. I later found out that when it comes to the bus-seating hierarchy I come mostly at the bottom since I am a young female.

Sitting on the bus, I tried to catch up on a few Chinese words using an app I have on my iPod. Then, the smell hit me. First the woman behind me started having a coughing fit over me, after which I smelled the smell. This is a smell I have smelled over and over again during my brief few weeks here in China, but I know exactly what it is. It's a rancid, sour smell that makes my stomach turn and I know for a fact it is caused by eating too much garlic. How do I know this? Well, a certain family member of mine, not mentioning any names, used to eat copious amounts of garlic for their 'health'. The when I would share the same sleeping room as this person my olfactory senses would be assaulted in the most grotesque possible of ways. The smell would make my stomach turn and I would feel as though I was going to lose the ability to breath. The bad news for my sense of smell therefore, is that this particular odor is EVERYWHERE in China. But on the other hand they probably think I smell like cross between a poo of rotting fish and slime so it's not all bad.

I read on an online forum that when Westerners started coming to China, the Chinese couldn't stand their sour, rancid smell, that came from drinking milk. These foodstuffs seep through the pores in the skin and diffuse into the air. So I have one of two options. The first is that I learn to deal with the garlic smell somehow. The second is to eat so much garlic that I out-smell anybody who dares to out-smell me, and therefore I will no longer be able to smell the offending odour. Which should I do?

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I got to down town and scoured a shop called InZone for a laptop. Our school had given us 400 RMB worth of InZone vouchers because of the National Holiday and Teacher's Day, so I was hoping to find a laptop there so I could save a bit of money. I was disappointed to find that they had a very poor selection of laptops, and what they did have was very expensive. I dragged my feet up to another floor and looked in vain for some more electronic items. Instead I found a Starbucks. It was time for a rest, I thought.

Starbucks in China is pretty much the same as any other Starbucks I've been to, except they have things like green tea cakes and Chinese tea. A tall Vanilla latte costs 30 RMB, about 3 GBP or 30 EGP, for any Egyptians who may be reading this blog. I had a nice sit down, read a bit of my Kindle (I think I was reading Robinson Crusoe) then continued my laborious search for a laptop.

In the end I concluded that I would not have much luck in InZone, so I made my way to the so-called Silicon Valley of Jinan. A better name would be the 'Crap-hole of Jinan, guaranteed to give you more diseases than you can shake a stick at'. The 'Pregnant Building' above is one of the buildings at the entrance to Silicon Valley. It doesn't look too bad but the real problem comes when you start walking down the street. They are forever doing roadworks in this street (actually this statement is true for all of Jinan) and you are therefore battered by chemical smells and tiny particles of floating dust that find their way into you delicate breathing apparatus, make a nice home for themselves and then in a few years time give rise to some wonderfully unpleasant diseases. In short, I wanted to be in and out of 'Silicon Crappity Crap' as fast as I could.

I entered a building opposite 'Pregnant Building' an scanned a few laptops. 'Can you change these to English?' I asked. 'Of course, of course', was the reply. In fact they had no idea. It was incredibly frustrating as no one spoke English. Finally a boy with over sized glasses and goofy teeth came up way too close for my liking. 'I speak English', he coughed on me. 'Thank God', I thought.

It turns out that although he spoke English he was incredible, unbelievably annoying. I wanted to ask him whether he used some sort of daily spiritual practice to maintain such high levels of irritation-inducement. In the end it was clear he wanted to milk me for my worth. When I asked how much it would cost to download a (pirated) Windows 7 in English he said it would take a very very very long time, but was unable to give me a price, because he was obviously thinking of the most ludicrous amount that I might agree to. In the end I'd had enough of him and his ways and walked around the rest of the store in a cloud of anger, frustration and impatience. I started thinking I'd be left without a laptop and therefore would be unable to plan my lessons for school...

In the distance I saw a thin, wiry man hunched over a laptop in a section painted yellow and labelled 'Hasee', a brand of Chinese made laptops. If I wanted cheap that was my best bet.

The man had that smell of garlic lingering over him, and he was more yellow than I'd ever seen anyone before, I wondered whether he had jaundice. He had long, greasy hair which flopped over his eyes and he must have been in his late thirties. I went up to a laptop and asked him the price. '1800 RMB' he said. 'That's more like it', I thought. Not the 4000 - 5000 RMB laptops I had been previously directed to by the Goof-Meister. He even said he could put Windows 7 on it for free, it would take only 40 minutes AND he would give me a laptop case, muse, mouse pad and screen wiper for free. 'Go for it', I thought, for there was limited verbal communicatin between us.

In the end it took 4 hours to install the Windows 7, because of a partition difficulty. What I was most impressed with was the fact that although I spoke more Chinese than he spoke English, he made his way around Windows 7 with such confidence and ease, it was as if he understood English perfectly.

When it was time for us to make our sad farewells, the skinny man began acting most peculiarly. He started 'forgetting' about the free gifts he had so freely bestowed upon me at the beginning of our encounter. I had to remind him one by one of all the things that were still on the desk, in plain view of both of us, that he had omitted to include in my bag. He also tried to make me pay an extra 100 RMB for a screen protector, which I stupidly agreed to. My instincts were screaming at me not to do it and in the end I tried to get my money back, and tell him I didn't want a screen protector. Luckily he caved and gave me back my money, but if I had been in Egypt or India that money would have been long gone.

So there you have it. I finally got my laptop and here I am typing on it now. That same day I also got myself a bus pass, put credit on my phone and joined a local gym. All in all a very successful day methinks.

School trip to Mount Tai

The view from atop Mount Tai

A beautiful gold wall

Posing in the clouds

A few of the other English teachers

The old man that wanted me to sit on his lap

A man carrying boxes of things to sell on top of the mountain

Love padlocks; throw the key over the mountain so that nobody can ever open the lock again

Tai'an is south of Jinan

Yesterday I went with the other Foreign English teachers, from Always School, to the top of Mount Tai, a few miles south of Jinan. We got there in an hour and  half then took a bus half-way up the mountain. From there we took a beautiful cable car to the top and walked a bit further on to a restaurant/hotel where we had a buffet. I tried out a new paper-like food stuff which I discovered to be made from beancurd, and my table as deep in conversation about the second world war and whether America knew about earl Harbour before it happened or not.

In the old days it was believed that since the sun rose from the East, it must have risen from on top of Mount Tai. Mount Tai is one of the Five Sacred mountains of China and as such had its fair number of emperors grace its paths (including other famous figures such as George W. Bush - at least that's according to the tourist photograph advertisements that were found at one location of the mountain). The emperors themselves didn't have to scale the mountain of course. Instead they were carried on rickshaws by their servants. There were eight designated spots along the path up to the mountain in which the emperor was asked by his servants if he needed a rest from the taxing job of sitting on a plush, velvet cushion and eating grapes. If the emperor decided that it was all a little too much for him he would reply that yes, indeed he did wish to have a break. Then and only then could his servants also rest, if the emperor needed no such break then the servants would have to continue to climb the steep path of the mountain.

The weather at the top of the mountain was beautiful. I felt a real sense of happiness up there. I was surrounded by centuries of history, all around me were people from many different cultures, and I felt relaxed in the company of the other foreign teachers. It was also nice having a tour guide/leader take charge of the trip, so that I didn't have to think about where to go or what to do.

After our meal we went back down to the cable car area. Some of us took the cable car back down to the mid-point whilst others walked down the rest of the way. I was quite undecided over which to do. My knees were hurting quite a bit already, but at the same time I wanted to enjoy the atmosphere of the mountain, and I wanted to spend more time with the other teachers on the trip. I decided to walk down, but I adopted a penguin-waddle to prevent myself doing too much damage to my knees.

About half-way down I saw an old Chinese man sitting at the entrance of some cave. He had thin shoulder-length silver hair and a silver goatee. I thought he looked very interesting, so I wanted to take a picture with him. As I approached slowly, so that he wouldn't think I was pouncing on him, he began making strange gestures. I didn't quite understand, but I went in for the photo anyway. Then, he started pulling at my arms and trying to get me to sit on his lap. 'What is this?' I thought. I got my photo and ran away. You can see the photo above and actually, I've just noticed where the man's eyes are. Bad man. Bad, bad man.